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Saturday, December 24, 2011

That awkward moment when...you feel sad at Christmas...



I think I must like to feel blue at Christmas.

The melancholy usually sets in just about now...Christmas eve...


it's a perfect set-up, really...


Izzy and Sophie are staying tonight at their Dad's house because they do Christmas together with their dad on Christmas eve.



We do Christmas on Christmas.


I guess, the blues come from the build up...

the expectations...

the wanting to please someone,

the waiting,

the keeping the best secrets ever,

the moment when you almost let something slip,

the hiding it away until you can wrap it up,

and then it's over.



No more build up.

No more secret fun.

No more hiding.

No more hoping.

No more whispers.

No more anticipation...

it's all done.



I'm thinking I know what the melancholy is now...

it's all about missing the excitement...

missing the traditions that we're lacking due to the divorce...

missing kids who want to create new traditions...

missing the baby girls that I once had...

they don't find it as magical when we drive through the park to look at the lights...

they aren't interested in making Christmas cookies with me...

and they already know what they're getting for Christmas because it is so specific, there can't be any surprises.



I think I need to do a guerilla goodness act, don't you? That makes everything feel better! The melancholy will lift in no time!

I'll let you know what I come up with!

Merry Christmas...

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